I was a bit bothered…
So I go to this site called MckMama Without Pity which is a site that discusses the half truths, lies, and real facts behind the blog MckMama.com. Most of the time it's pretty civil, no real nastiness (ie, no name calling, commenting on things that shouldn't be commented on, etc.) Sometimes it gets nasty but the moderator is able to reign people in because the blog isn't meant to bash MckMama. It's meant to inform people of the things MckMama leaves out of her own blog. I started going after MckMama's Blissdom speech where she made it seem like God blessed her more for being a great Christian and cured her child. I wasn't too surprised by her thought process because having read her blog for so long it wasn't anything new. But it was new to those she was speaking to and I certainly understood the hurt and anger felt like some about what she said.
This site popped up soon after, maybe because once again MckMama had managed to do something that angered many, apparently she angered people with how she handled the April Rose scandal (which is how I found her in the first place through articles.) I was surprised. When you read MckMama's site you'd think life was insanely perfect. I mean she'd talk about some ups and downs in the marriage, but other than that you would think everything was perfect. Come to find out they have insane financial issues (not anymore due to her blog, and don't get me wrong, more power to her making money off her blog), domestic violence issues, repoed car issues, etc.
Now I can certainly understand why someone wouldn't bring this up. The thing that bothered me more so than anything and still to this day is her marriage advice that she gives. Although she's never outright come out and said her hubby was charged with domestic violence twice (he was on a year old probation) but it was implied that there were serious issues where the police came, so you could deduce domestic violence out of it. Now she gives marriage advice, especially about being submissive. And this is so dangerous it's not even funny. It'd be like me giving medical advice on how to treat a child with Hyperinsulinism just because my daughter has it. It's improper and dangerous to even think illness' or marriages are all alike. Recently MckMama posted that all marriages could be saved, no qualifiers. Even went as far at one point to say even those who have molestation involved can be saved if both parties work at it. This belief failed to recognize the emotional impact on a child if you were to some how reform a child molester (which is unlikely anyhow). She back tracked on that opinion of course because even some of her most hard core followers couldn't fathom that sort of belief system.
Anyhow this post was supposed to be about something else. LOL! MckMama went on a trip for Compassion International to bring awareness to CI and their mission in Africa. Basically they're a feed the children like organization. What bothered me about this trip was the almost zoo like aspect to it. The point was to go out and take pictures and tell a story (which MckMama did horribly but whatever). But to me the going out and taking pictures, like these people should be gawked at like that, just bothered the crap out of me. I understand that to bring awareness we need to see pictures, but some of the pictures just looked like rich white folk walking through the slums taking pictures of the animals. It was sad. Especially when they took them on the tour of the worst part of Kenya. So that bothered me. It would be like walking around in LA finding a homeless camp and taking pictures.
Can you imagine what's going through the mind of those poor families, wondering what the hell these rich white Americans are doing? So that was what I was bothered about in regards to that. Oh and the dude who runs the Organization in her area is either an idiot or just trying to defend his actions for taking MckMama. Some don't think it's appropriate to take a man who was convicted of domestic violence in 2008 on a trip that revolves around visiting children. The director dude said there's no criminal record for either of them. It makes no sense, you can look it up on the court records. So either this guy is lying about it or just trying to defend his choice to have her go.
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The Reach of the Internet…
So off and on I do website google searches on some of the blogs I read just to see what's going on. Recently on of the Mommy Bloggers gave a speech that I guess came off as condescending and offensive to some at the conference she was giving the speech at. I read the speed and maybe because I already know she's insanely religious, I'd put her up there on the fundi level, it wasn't much of a surprise to me. Perhaps though these people at the speech didn't know of her, or were just not avid readers of hers. What she said is nothing she hasn't said before. I can see though why her statements would anger someone especially those with children suffering with disorders or life threatening illness'. The common statement was, "Why won't/didn't God heal my child?" I'd actually like to see her answer that question. See what her thoughts are on the subject. But I'd hazard to guess based on her previous posts that she'd just say simply that it's God's will. That doesn't answer the question of Why though but she's not God nor should she even try to speak for God, and I would hope she never would.
Anyhow back to the reason for this post. During this I stumbled upon a website dedicated to pointing out the lies and what they deem bad parenting of this blogger. Some of it is amazing, it's public record if you wanted to dig that deep. It also makes you wonder about how happy her life really is and why organizations such as Focus on the Family would even hold her family up to be a representative of the organization. Her husband was arrested twice on domestic violence last year. Hardly the model of a perfect family. But they have become very religious, I think even more religious than before, so perhaps it's a story of redemption that Focus likes? Who knows, and frankly don't care cause I'm not a fan of Focus at all.
It's just interesting to know the true person behind the blog. The real struggles they've had, which I think she should openly address, and speak to. I mean many people in this nation/world go through these same things, losing homes, debt, domestic violence, sick children, skewed priorities, etc... so why not go ahead and actually speak to those things and how her faith and strength helped guide her through. Instead she deletes, bans and basically ignores anyone who questions her on those issues. There is nothing wrong with what's happened in her life, so why she feels the need to hide them is beyond me. But sometimes people just like to keep the crappy stuff private. I think it just shows who you are when you tell everything.
Anyhow that was my thoughts on the whole thing. I'll continue to follow both sites just because I find it fascinating. Plus the length some people will go to get information is amazing as well.
Teenage Pregnancy
Dr. Laura had interesting commentary today, it was short and sweet. Simply saying that sexual activities of teenagers aren't looked down upon as they should be. And I agree. Although I do agree that some teenagers will have sex or participate in other sexual activities whether it's frowned upon or not, I do not for the life of me believe the "They're teenagers and they're going to do it anyhow" motto is appropriate and it seems to me this is the attitude that is most common among adults.
I don't think abstinence only education is at all productive though. I do think that education should be based around abstinence but also include very important issues, pregnancy, STDs, how to protect yourself, etc... I think specifically they should focus on STDs and Pregnancy, and in particular how utterly hard and taxing both can be on a person.
I often think teenage girls have an unrealistic view of what having a baby means, it's costs, the emotional cost, etc... I think if schools were down right blunt, that it's hard, very stressful, a full-time job, etc that many girls might re-evaluate their beliefs on it.
And parents need to start looking down on these activities. And people in general. I mean yeah we can provide support, but providing support doesn't mean the kid doesn't get a lecture. Parents need to be more active in their kids lives.
Are You Serious?
Sometimes on the pregnancy boards you get some of the oddest questions. And not to make light of the concern but sometimes you have to wonder how these people managed to get pregnant. One day there was the troll who asked if having sex could impregnate her daughter in the womb. LOL! Can't tell you how many people said yes just for fun. But that was a troll, we knew it. The question was just far too stupid.
But there are others, that are out there, but from serious concerned mothers. Things like "I ate a turkey sandwich, is my baby okay?" "I had cookie dough, is my baby dead?"
Seriously people a lot of the eating guidelines are there are just that guidelines, they aren't law and if you break them your baby will probably be fine. Why? Because we live in a country that has a pretty good regulated food system. If you lived in a 3rd world country, then you could be concerned.
Then the woman who clearly have no thought for their husbands at all come out and that is what bothers me mother. The utter lack of respect for his family, the constant complaining. And then when people give solutions to problems, the "Oh that won't work." You're either a victim or you aren't. Make a decision. My MIL is quirky at best, but frankly who cares, she's my husband's mother and deserves some respect.
That's always pissed me off, woman placing their mothers above their husband's mother's. I mean even to the point where they've literally cut off the husband's side of the family. I understand, I'm attached to my mother, but my daughter still sees my husband's mother at least once a week (she lives like 2 hours away). My philosophy, the more people to love her, the better.
Sometimes it takes a little give in a relationship. The realization that it's not all about you or your feelings. And that you'll have to suck it up, and do what's best for your family as a whole, like it or not. I think women have become overly selfish these days in general. Dr. Laura would say that entitlement has increased like ten fold in this nation. I'm not sure if it's feminism, Dr. Laura would say so, but something has changed. Everyone is out for themselves, their betterment, their happiness, and if it doesn't benefit them, then forget it they're not doing it. Pure selfishness.
When Christmas Comes to Town…
Over the Christmas season Kaylee's newest obsession was Polar Express. I have to say it's a great deal better than last years obsession of Rudolph. I was listening to a song tonight called When Christmas Comes to Town and realized that Polar Express tried to address why Santa didn't visit every child on Christmas Eve. Although it touched on the subject I don't think it really clearly addressed it.
If you watch the movie it seems that because Billy doesn't trust people in general and counts on literally nothing to ever go well for him, which I assume comes from a life of disappointment because of him being poor, that Santa doesn't visit. Once Billy decides he can trust people and look at the Holidays and Santa in a positive manner, then Santa shows up.
For a kid this wouldn't be disturbing and I think it's a great lesson, that no matter what you can count on certain people and can find joy in the Holidays without all the gifts. But it's a bit messed up that Santa is that much of a jerk that he'd purposely not visit a child because he can't get excited when all he's experienced every holiday season are no gifts under the tree.
"I guess that Santa's busy because he's never come around."
How do you explain to a child why Santa doesn't visit all the children in the world? That the poor don't always get a gift? Is there even a way to make this make sense to a child? I can't even think of a good reason that wouldn't make Santa look like a complete asshole.
It's one of my favorite songs from the movie though. It just got me thinking about the children who never get to experience Christmas and how they must feel in general. That's why it's important to donate, be it Toys for Tots or just giving over your old toys to the Women's Shelter so that a child can have a Christmas.
What’s your right?
So there is what I call Twitter drama going on. I spent an hour having a bit of fun myself, that's probably all I'll do, I got better things to do really, but for the hour when I had nothing to do, you know Kaylee at school and TV sucks (crap I should have done the laundry), I played around on Twitter.
**Harsh language used later in this post.**
I was shocked to say the least with what people believe their rights are in regards to Twitter. How they believe that they can police the internet (Twitter and Blogger) because they didn't like someone's opinion. Sorry folks (hi, I know you're visiting!) but it doesn't work that way. There is a reason there is a block function available on Twitter. And you after all don't have to click on a link to a blog and read it.
They say, "She's harassing so and so." If so, it's up to so and so to block said harasser and move on. That's all. And she isn't harassing so and so. People need to look up the definitions of libel, slander and harassment. The ignorance and the leaps on how things can be applied is amazing.
See I can write a blog, stating in my opinion that so and so did this wrong and this right. People can chose to like it or not. People can post comments, tell me I'm a moron, whatever, but what people can't do, is try to get me removed from a social networking site because of my opinion. I mean seriously if you could get someone removed from a site because you don't like their opinion, then what stops someone from getting you removed for your opinion?
I mean I'm of the opinion that trying to remove someone because you don't like their opinion is bullying. People don't agree. They see it as a noble action. That no one should ever question a parent and why her child died. But you know what, it's FUCKING TWITTER! Don't want people to question your parenting and the incidents that happen, DON'T FUCKING BROADCAST IT!
I write everything with the full knowledge that people may not agree, and I don't care whether they do or not. If I don't want people to criticize me or say something about what I've done, I won't post about that action. Because I know what would push my buttons and what won't matter in the end. So I won't post about certain things because I don't want to be questioned about them. It's simple protection of my emotions. People should learn to follow that.
So to all my new found friends, look at what you're doing and asking and really ask yourself if your actions are appropriate. If you still think so, more power to you, but know that what you're doing now can work against you in the future.
It’s all so random
So today's post is going to just be a mass amount of randomness...
1. So on Sept. 30th we got Brian moved out of the house and turned in the keys with a nice little letter telling the property management company that we aren't idiots and know our rights. It seemed to scare them into doing what they need to do, the house is back on the market at a reasonable rent and I think we'll be getting our security deposit back by the 21st.
2. I went to the doctor today. I was worried about some moles. The doctor said they looked fine and that I shouldn't worry, especially about the smaller ones. So I asked her for some anti-anxiety medication for when I have really bad nights. She gave me something, forgot it's name, and said only take it once in a while, don't use it constantly. I don't like medication anyhow so I'll only use it when I'm having a really bad night. I think maybe just having it available too will make me feel better. You know, knowing you have the ability to go to the drug should you need to.
3. Took Kaylee to see the doctor as well, she had a lump on her back. He said it's just a bruise. LOL! Sometimes I feel so stupid taking her in for small things but Kaylee is not a normal child and the small things might be big things for her. He says she's fine and not to worry. But I know he understands why I worry, I mean she has a chronic illness that we deal with everyday. How can I not worry.
4. The doctor asked me if I knew the trigger of my anxiety. I said, yeah my daughter has a chronic illness and I'm going through a divorce. She was like, yeah that will do it.
5. I wonder how I'm going to broach the subject of the divorce with Kaylee's doctor's, both her pediatrician and her endocrinologist. None of them ask about home life, so I don't feel it's appropriate to offer up that kind of information. But sometimes when they ask how Kaylee's dad is doing I'm like, fine. I guess it's easier to pretend that he's fine rather than potentially have them feel weird because I said "I don't know, we're divorced."
6. Kaylee's doctor noticed my necklace today and I have to wonder if that partly had to do with the top I'm wearing and it's insanely low cut (I try to get it not to look that way but so far no luck). LOL!!
7. Kaylee fell and hit her head today at school. They say she's fine that she got up and was back at it. But they put ice on it. I can imagine when she gets home it's going to be all she talks about. Hell for weeks, I bet you she'll tell her Endo in two weeks that she fell and hit her head. She can hold onto that kind of thing for weeks.
8. I'm going to set up an echocardiogram for Kaylee here soon. I don't think she needs it but the doctor would feel better if she had it done. Her pediatrician didn't think it was necessary but told me to do it anyhow because obviously her Endo felt it was important. It isn't a complicated test so I'm not worried. I don't even think it's that long.
9. NaNoWriMo starts in Nov. I'm going to write a novel. Not sure about what yet but I'll write something.
10. I have to charge my camera battery. Must remember to charge the battery.
What did they do?
So I've been thinking lately about what some Mommies in the blog world have done to create what would be deemed as successful blogs. I've had this conversation on a message board as well, about what makes them successful.
Some would say nothing makes them successful. That their writing style is nothing different than the rest of us. They just happened to say the wrong thing at their blog about another blogger, do the wrong thing, at someone's blog who has a lot of readers and then from there they became popular due to people wanting to see what they will say next. I have found that for me that's how I came to know three or so of the blogs that are currently overrated and popular. Through some controversy that floated the Internet.
Then others would say that in general the Infertility world tends to stay close to each other and reach out to those in need so if you have a blog and are having issues they tend to band together. Some are asking, "Why were you on infertility blogs? You didn't have issues." I know, but when I got pregnant I did a lot of research and reading of forums and in that process came across infertility blogs and was pulled in by the people's struggles and success stories and even their not successful tries. About 30 of the blogs I read at one time or another had something to do with infertility. Since it's been nearly 3 years most have moved past infertility and onto being Mommy blogs. You can't help but feel good for those people. Some are quite popular due to the trials they went to, other's are not.
Then another way would be to have something insanely traumatic happen. Going through a divorce after years of trying to conceive and getting pregnant just to have you husband walk out or having your child have major medical problems, or God forbid, die. You have to be careful though with these blogs because a lot of people will say they're a scam and I think that just comes from the fact that there are mentally unstable people who will put together a blog based on fake events and suck people in and take money and so forth. That's really sad that anyone would do that but they do.
Then they say that those who have had these experiences are just exploiting their situation for money. Some blogs you can see it, other's though I don't see it. Maybe because I have a child with special needs. I write about her conditions and the trails of her condition because this is my blog and I need to write things out. It has nothing to do with exploiting my daughter. I will say though that I don't constantly write about my daughter and maybe that's the difference between the other blogs and mine? Perhaps if I made it seem like my daughter's condition was ten times worse than it is, then maybe I'd have more readers? Some people do believe that there are a few online who play up their situation way worse than it is to gain readership.
Then others would say that there are some blogs out there that are just overrated crap that have cult followings. I have to say sometimes I check out these so called overrated blogs and have to wonder what made them popular, cause you can't find the drama, the pain and tribulation like the others. They just are popular. And they are overrated. Two or three blogs I read are just overrated popular Mom Blogs who have nothing of real substance to offer beyond their everyday lives.
Not to say they shouldn't write, because they should, it's what a blog is for. But they aren't like a few blogs I read who will write commentary and thoughts on what's happening in the nation or about things they've been experience that can effect all of us. These overrated blogs have the "I fed my kid this and then she did this and the dog farted and here I took a picture." and that's it. How they manage to drag out their day into three or four paragraphs is beyond me. And how they manage to be main speakers at Blogging conferences and get on TV (and national TV at that) is way beyond me.
I guess in the end it doesn't matter though because you can't criticize someone for doing something that works. Some people make pretty good money off their blogs, and who can fault them for wanting to continue to bring money in, especially in this economy. But it's not wrong to wonder what the hell the appeal of some of these people are to others? It must just be preferences and appealing to those like you.
Apparently I have none of that. The most readers I've ever had in a day was 150 and that was because apparently saying that those who ride bikes and don't follow basic traffic laws are morons, can really set off the biking community (although most agreed with me). LOL! But my normal average per day is between 30 and 50 readers. I'm not sure who you folks are or why you keep reading, but hello! Thank you for coming to my site!
On a side note in November the National Write a Book Month, or whatever it's called, will begin. I'm thinking of doing it this time around. I started last year and was on a pretty good roll but trying to write and also take care of Kaylee was a bit too much. This year I may have more time on my hands. I'll write a better book as well. I might splurge and buy Shrivner (sp?). It was a pretty good program.
