What I Learned When I Became A Mom…

• Your home will never be as clean as it was before kids.
• Toys will overtake your life.
• The only private time you’ll get is maybe in the bathroom.
• Getting a hug from your child is the best thing ever.
• Watching them grow is sad and joyful at the same time.
• You will do things you said you wouldn’t and not do things you said you would.
• Everyone will have an opinion on how to raise your child.
• There will be some who will think you’re a horrible parent.
• Your child will say I hate you or I don’t love you, but they never mean it.
• The routines and schedules are important.
• That being mean is sometimes needed.
• That suddenly you can handle vomit and poop and it won’t make you gag.
• That being thrown up on isn’t as bad as you’d think.

That’s all I have right now. Anyone want to add to the list?

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It keeps me sane…

I promised myself to blog at least once a day, and no photography posts don’t count so I’m getting my post in under the wire tonight. Not sure why I made this promise and I will not be keeping it of course cause after a while I will get bored.

I was going to write a post, a post I knew would get people at least talking if not mad, but I can’t remember now. We’ll see if it comes to me while I’m writing.

Kaylee has Scarlet Fever. And before you say, “I didn’t know people got that anymore!” It’s more common than you think. Simply though it’s Strep Throat and a rash. Basically the “rash” which isn’t a rash it’s hives is the bodies overreaction to the strep throat virus. I’m thinking, and this is my unscientific thinking and I’m not sure it’s right, that the rash is because Kaylee has had the strep for at least 5 days if not more (yeah isn’t that nice cause guess where we were on Friday, a birthday party! Hopefully no one got it but strep throat isn’t always symptomatic right away) and it was technically untreated so her body was going into overdrive to try to treat the stupid virus.

We have antibiotics now and she will no longer be contagious come tomorrow afternoon, meaning she can go back to school on Friday. If I want to send her that is. Luckily I haven’t sent her to school since last Wednesday (because of that birthday party) so I doubt anyone at school has to worry. We know that this didn’t come from school. The doctor asked if she’d been swimming a lot. I said yes, everyday. Yeah well he suggested not doing that anymore (swimming everyday). Apparently guess what’s a breading ground for the strep virus? Pools. Now your personal private pool, probably not an issue. Public pools like mine at an apartment complex, an issue.

I’m just angry because frankly she never had these issues and now all she has is issues. She’s had 2 ear infections this year, 4 since she started school less than a year ago. Colds, hives, and now this strep throat. And although this current sickness has nothing to do with school, it just is annoying how often she’s been sick.

It’s been a real test of her blood sugar though and she seems to be holding up well. Of course we can thank her fever for her high blood sugar. Once that fever is gone we’re going to see her drop like a rock. But I know the drill. Luckily by the time she does drop like a rock she will be eating once again so we’ll be able to deal with it. It’s just not fun.

Oh some might be saying, “OMG what about the baby?”

The doctor says not to worry. The baby is protected by my womb immunities still. Scarlet fever is rarely seen in children under 3 years of age apparently. Something to do with the body hasn’t had time to build up the histamines and so forth.  It’s kind of the same logic that allergies such as dust, cat, and so forth are not typically a problem until after the age of one. So okay the baby can’t get Scarlet Fever. But can she get just plain old strep throat. The answer is highly unlikely. Once again my immunities and all help the baby. Okay great.

What about the potential for Pink Eye (yeah isn’t this a wonderful freaking illness)? Well luckily Kaylee’s “pink” eyes don’t come with any discharge right now and actually once given the medicine the pink went away. The doctor said we probably got in just in time to avoid that issue. But keep our hands out of our eyes. Okay, tell my 4 week old not to touch her eyes cause she isn’t listening to me.

It gets better, what about us? Well adults don’t typically get Scarlet Fever so that’s good. But hey we can get the Strep and the Pink Eye. The incubation period is 2 to 5 days. So 2 to 5 days from tomorrow if nothing has happened to us we’re in the clear. God I’m hoping nothing happens. We’ll see although frankly she’s been sick since Sunday night I believe and neither Brian or I are sick so I think we’re in the clear.

Scarlet Fever (or Strep) is transmitted through hands (touching), coughing or sneezing. Now the hands transmission is because typically you cough or sneeze into your hands. Kaylee didn’t start coughing until yesterday and I became a wash my hands whore when that started. She hasn’t sneezed at all, actually hasn’t sneezed in quite some time. Kissing though is a way to get it, which of course she was doing with the baby and also gives us kisses good night and so forth. But as long as we weren’t swapping Saliva, I think we’re in the clear.

Brian had a job interview today that he said he thinks went very well. I hope he did well and I hope he gets the job. If he gets the job we’ll be better off than we were before. And that would be wonderful. Yeah we’d have to pay for Cobra still while he’s on his “probation” period but we’d be able to afford Cobra. The big thing is having the insurance and being able to pay the bills.

I don’t want to go through what I had to go through today. To decide whether or not to get medication for your child because you don’t have the money to pay out of pocket is not fun. It took all my strength to not break down there in the store at the pharmacy. I don’t know how people do it in general, not get the medications they need. Or deciding whether or not to go to the doctor (like should I call and cancel my doctor’s appointment for next month?)

So tonight when I finally go to bed (after feeding the baby) I’m begging the Lord to let Brian get this job. This week has been one big humiliation and struggle (having to get food stamps and applying for Medical). Nothing makes you feel like less of a person and that you’re not being a good enough parent when you have to rely on the state just to buy food. It’s just down right depressing. And yes I know it’s there for cases like ours but it doesn’t make it feel any better.

And I still haven’t remembered what I was originally going to write about.

To end on a more funny note here is a Random Quote From a 4 Year Old:

Mommy, I love jugs!

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Photographs

I need to start taking photos again. I think I will once we get back into the swing of things. Today I managed to make it out to a park play date for Kaylee and it was wonderful to get out and not be so tired that I had to leave early and it was nice to be able to go and do errands and so forth and get home and not be ready for a nap. I mean yeah I’m tired because I’m still not getting more sleep than before so I could nap if I wanted, but I’m functioning without the sleep which is nice.

Although the lack of sleep may be bringing on some anxiety. It doesn’t help that I’m worried about Cobra and whether we’ll have the insurance set up within the next week because Annabelle has to go back to the doctor in 10 days and Kaylee has a blood draw in 8 days and her doctor’s appointment with the Endo in three weeks. I’m not worried about refilling prescriptions because the pharmacy said we can refill it tomorrow so that will load me up with a two month supply. Her other prescription is cheap so that one I don’t worry about. Her main one would cost us $1100 out of pocket from what the pharmacy said.

That whole situation just has me stressed in general. To think that people think it’s okay for kids to be uninsured. Of course I could go in and get Medical but I wouldn’t be able to do anything doctor wise until all that was approved. And that can take 45 days to happen. I mean seriously what do you do in the mean time when these appointments are important?

I don’t have to worry that much though because Cobra will kick in and be retroactive. So what I’ll do at the other appointments is pay out of pocket and then submit a claim. The doctor’s office might also “sit” on filing the claim until the Cobra is processed as well so it’s not a huge deal. But just realizing that there are people out there with kids who have medical issues who struggle daily with no insurance or inadequate insurance and can’t get the proper care for their children. Can you imagine that type of worry?

Onto more important things. Annabelle is doing well. I think she may have some gas so I purchased some gas drops. I think they helped because she passed a massive poopy today, bigger than any we’ve ever seen. She likes to eat in an effort to make her tummy feel better and I honestly think it makes it worse. So hopefully the drops will help. Also while at Target to purchase that I did some retail research and found that Target brand formula is half the price of the type we’re using and it has 20oz more in it. So I’m going to switch to that. Diapers are the same, they have double the diapers for the same price as the brand names. Now diapers it all depends on if they work well. But I don’t see why they wouldn’t work.

Brian’s job search in my opinion is going very well. He’s been on several interviews and had multiple phone calls and so forth. There are some prospects as well that could work out. Nothing pays nearly as much as he was making but something is better than nothing (or unemployment) especially if medical benefits are provided. So we’ll make it work for sure if he finds a job here soon. I seriously hope so though because that would reduce the stress for sure.

I took some photos of Annabelle today and seriously she looks exactly like Kaylee. Now if I had any idea where all my pictures were of Kaylee before age one I’d put up a comparison but sadly I don’t. So you all just get a picture of Annabelle only.

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Spanking is Good?

I’m not one of those mothers who believes all the new age junk, that time outs and positive only parenting is the way to go. To be honest I believe this leads to a huge let down for children when they enter the real world, which is full of huge let downs. It’s really a balance in my opinion. Children need to learn early that there are disappointments in life, that you take them and deal with them properly. They have to learn that they can’t have everything, nor are they due everything and have to work hard to get it (something which I think is severely lacking in our current generation of teenagers). And they have to learn that there are consequences to behavior, good and bad, some which may hurt (I think it’s especially important to relate dangerous activities with pain because I think some young people don’t realize how hazardous their behaviors can be).

A study was released recently which contradicts the studies that say spanking causes kids to be aggressive. First off I’ve never understood this “spanking makes people aggressive” junk. I was spanked as well as most of the people of my generation (you know before it became taboo) and most of us are not aggressive people. Most of us are productive adults.

This new study says:

The research, by Calvin College psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe, found that kids smacked before age 6 grew up to be more successful, and that there was not enough evidence to say that smacking harms most kids. But those who were smacked after age 6 were more likely than other kids to have behavioral difficulties, such as getting into fights.

Read More…

This is actually interesting. I think there is a time to stop spanking, and six doesn’t seem unreasonable. There comes a point where spanking does become ineffective. Perhaps as children become older the lessons that go with spanking just don’t work the same as they would with a younger child?

A few weeks ago I had to spank Kaylee. She was behaving badly, and no amount of punishment worked. I did everything known to man, except for the spanking. I purposely avoiding spanking, hoping she’d stop after a few days. But her behavior went on for too long and obviously hoping it would go away wasn’t working. My last resort was spanking.

I took her into her room and sat her on my lap. Explained what I was doing (that she would be getting 3 spankings on her butt because she gets one for each year she is old), told her why I was doing it (what behavior was bringing on this punishment), what I would like to see from her in the future (basically what was to be learned from this experience), that this was happening because she didn’t listen to me and was continuing her bad behavior and that if she didn’t want a spanking in the future she’d just not have to behave in the way she had been. I asked her if she understood and she said yes. I asked her to tell me why this was happening and she told me what she had done so at least I knew she knew what behavior had been responsible for the spanking. Then I spanked her, with her clothes on (I don’t think bare butt is necessary). She cried a bit, but not much, I gave her a hug and a kiss and that was that.

Oddly enough even though I felt like crap for doing it, it worked. Do I want to do it again? No and I hope that maybe this one experience will be enough that I never will have to do it again. But it actually worked. People say it doesn’t or it’s short term, but it’s been well over two weeks and I’ve not seen the behavior at all. She doesn’t seemed to be scarred in any manner, she’s actually behaving a bit better than she was before. I mean she’s 3 so her behavior is going to be not good sometimes. But for the most part she’s doing really well.

So perhaps, just perhaps, spanking isn’t always as harmful as people would like to think? It’s important to realize what works for one child may not work for another. I think that’s often lost on people, they just assume it works for every child, but not every child is built the same.

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It’s all so random

So today’s post is going to just be a mass amount of randomness…

1. So on Sept. 30th we got Brian moved out of the house and turned in the keys with a nice little letter telling the property management company that we aren’t idiots and know our rights. It seemed to scare them into doing what they need to do, the house is back on the market at a reasonable rent and I think we’ll be getting our security deposit back by the 21st.

2. I went to the doctor today. I was worried about some moles. The doctor said they looked fine and that I shouldn’t worry, especially about the smaller ones. So I asked her for some anti-anxiety medication for when I have really bad nights. She gave me something, forgot it’s name, and said only take it once in a while, don’t use it constantly. I don’t like medication anyhow so I’ll only use it when I’m having a really bad night. I think maybe just having it available too will make me feel better. You know, knowing you have the ability to go to the drug should you need to.

3. Took Kaylee to see the doctor as well, she had a lump on her back. He said it’s just a bruise. LOL! Sometimes I feel so stupid taking her in for small things but Kaylee is not a normal child and the small things might be big things for her. He says she’s fine and not to worry. But I know he understands why I worry, I mean she has a chronic illness that we deal with everyday. How can I not worry.

4. The doctor asked me if I knew the trigger of my anxiety. I said, yeah my daughter has a chronic illness and I’m going through a divorce. She was like, yeah that will do it.

5. I wonder how I’m going to broach the subject of the divorce with Kaylee’s doctor’s, both her pediatrician and her endocrinologist. None of them ask about home life, so I don’t feel it’s appropriate to offer up that kind of information. But sometimes when they ask how Kaylee’s dad is doing I’m like, fine. I guess it’s easier to pretend that he’s fine rather than potentially have them feel weird because I said “I don’t know, we’re divorced.”

6. Kaylee’s doctor noticed my necklace today and I have to wonder if that partly had to do with the top I’m wearing and it’s insanely low cut (I try to get it not to look that way but so far no luck). LOL!!

7. Kaylee fell and hit her head today at school. They say she’s fine that she got up and was back at it. But they put ice on it. I can imagine when she gets home it’s going to be all she talks about. Hell for weeks, I bet you she’ll tell her Endo in two weeks that she fell and hit her head. She can hold onto that kind of thing for weeks.

8. I’m going to set up an echocardiogram for Kaylee here soon. I don’t think she needs it but the doctor would feel better if she had it done. Her pediatrician didn’t think it was necessary but told me to do it anyhow because obviously her Endo felt it was important. It isn’t a complicated test so I’m not worried. I don’t even think it’s that long.

9. NaNoWriMo starts in Nov. I’m going to write a novel. Not sure about what yet but I’ll write something.

10. I have to charge my camera battery. Must remember to charge the battery.

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