The End of a Decade…
Apparently.
I didn't realize that this decade was ending.
So what did this decade bring us?
In 2000 I graduated from High School. This means next year we'll have a 10 year reunion. Hopefully I'm invited. We'll see. I was happy to graduate really. School wasn't all that fun for me in general, had no real friends so it was good to have it end.
In the summer of 2000 I headed to Montana State University, Bozeman. This place was the greatest I have to say. People think of Montana and think what the hell could have been so good. It was just great. I loved it. There was this pizza place on campus that I'd give anything to have a slice of right now. It was the best. Every Tuesday and Thursday I'd have a slice and then head to History. I did relatively well at Montana. Nothing beyond my usual B/C grades. But I was passing. In the fall of that year it was decided that Montana was too far away and that I needed to come closer to California. So Northern Arizona University was where I was to go with my sister. Bad idea, should have never been done.
2001 I headed to NAU and frankly failed nearly all my classes. I tried but I just was not happy there. I don't remember missing any classes, I always felt too guilty to do so, but I did manage to get put on academic probation and then suspended the next semester. It was just a bad idea to move there. Patti and I can not live together at all. It resulted in a lot of fighting between ourselves.
2002 I moved in with my grandparents. It was better than living with my sister, but stressful as well. I stayed there until the end of 2002 and finally was able to come back to Simi to live with my mom. In the summer of 2002 I met Brian as well.
2003 I lived with my mom for half the year and then moved to live with Brian in Lancaster. I managed to fall down some stairs early in the year and ruptured two discs in the process. So at the end of 2003 I finally had surgery and got my back fixed. Found out that one of the ruptures wasn't a rupture but rather a bone spur (I think that's what they're called) that had been bothering me for nearly 10 years. So after 10 years of constant back pain I was finally pain free. In December of 2003 I married Brian.
2004 was pretty uneventful I guess. Just worked and moved my way up the ladder at my work. That's about all we did I think that year. Well I know we went to a NASCAR race. That was 2004.
2005 was uneventful until August when I found out I was pregnant. I miscarried the first pregnancy but was pregnant the next month. I think Sept. we also saw Tim McGraw for the first time. That concert was great.
2006 Kaylee was born, saw Tim McGraw yet again and Kaylee was also diagnosed with her disorder, Hyperinsulinism.
2007 Nothing much happened. Well Kaylee did have minor surgery to remove a bundle of over active lymph nodes on her back.
2008 Nothing much happened this year either.
2009 Brian asked for divorce, I got pregnant, and now we're trying to work it out.
What's my hope for 2010. That we're able to work out our marriage. I'm able to move back in with him and we're just going to go back to being a normal family. That's the hope. Also I'd like to lose some weight. Oh and the baby will be born in June.
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Sir Patrick Stewart!
Patrick Stewart, the best damn actor ever, is now a Knight! Pretty cool.
Now if only they would do another Star Trek movie since the timeline has been rewritten and all.
What I wouldn't give to see the Enterprise-E back on the big screen. That ship was beautiful.
When Christmas Comes to Town…
Over the Christmas season Kaylee's newest obsession was Polar Express. I have to say it's a great deal better than last years obsession of Rudolph. I was listening to a song tonight called When Christmas Comes to Town and realized that Polar Express tried to address why Santa didn't visit every child on Christmas Eve. Although it touched on the subject I don't think it really clearly addressed it.
If you watch the movie it seems that because Billy doesn't trust people in general and counts on literally nothing to ever go well for him, which I assume comes from a life of disappointment because of him being poor, that Santa doesn't visit. Once Billy decides he can trust people and look at the Holidays and Santa in a positive manner, then Santa shows up.
For a kid this wouldn't be disturbing and I think it's a great lesson, that no matter what you can count on certain people and can find joy in the Holidays without all the gifts. But it's a bit messed up that Santa is that much of a jerk that he'd purposely not visit a child because he can't get excited when all he's experienced every holiday season are no gifts under the tree.
"I guess that Santa's busy because he's never come around."
How do you explain to a child why Santa doesn't visit all the children in the world? That the poor don't always get a gift? Is there even a way to make this make sense to a child? I can't even think of a good reason that wouldn't make Santa look like a complete asshole.
It's one of my favorite songs from the movie though. It just got me thinking about the children who never get to experience Christmas and how they must feel in general. That's why it's important to donate, be it Toys for Tots or just giving over your old toys to the Women's Shelter so that a child can have a Christmas.
Year in Review… (Part 3)
Sept 09 - Dec 09
On September 19th I found out I was pregnant. And the rest of the year kind of blew by. These last few months have been stressful to say the least.
It seems to me Brian is trying to work on our marriage, we just need to start "dating" again which is just hard in general with as busy as life has been.
Halloween came and went, Kaylee seemed to have fun.
Then my mom hurt her back pretty bad just before Thanksgiving so instead of going to Arizona we stayed home and I cooked most of the meal. It was pretty good.
Soon after we found out that my step-dad was being let go from his job. Bastard company. Anyhow then my mom found out there was another issue on top of her back so things just got really stressful, especially since I was feeling like shit from being pregnant.
Christmas came and went and the new year is almost here. I can't wait for the New Year. I hope it's better than this year has been. I can say this truly has been the worst year I've ever been through.
Year in Review… (Part 2)
May 09 - August 09
These four months were pretty boring if you ask me. Nothing much happened. Kaylee turned three on June 5th and I turned 27 on August 6.
We did go camping up in Mammoth for a week in July. It was an experience to say the least. It went well after the first day or so. I'm never doing a week though again in Mammoth, that's for sure.
We also managed to go to Disneyland twice, once in June and once in August. Kaylee loves Disneyland. Especially the princesses.
Other than that, nothing much happened.
Oh yeah I wanted to write this is where I saw the deterioration of any and all friendships I had before Brian asked for Divorce. I don't know why, it may have partly been me, or just the situation, but it seems most people either just drifted away or completely avoided me. I don't know why, and this isn't written to get people to "contact" me or feel guilty or whatever, but it's just something I noticed.
A year in review… (Part 1)
Jan 09 - April 09
I have decided to do a year in review series. Since this year has been the worse by far, I figure why not write it out and hope next year is better. We'll see. Here's part one, Jan. - April.
In January Brian and I did what we normally do, our taxes and found out we owed a lot of money, half of what would have been our down payment on a home. So we ended our house search and gave in to the fact that we were paying a crap load of money out to the government, money we had used to help pay off debt the previous year. Ain't it great, when you're in need, you can't even cash in on the money you have without being slammed with a huge tax bill, which was about the same amount as our debt we paid off. It was crap in my opinion.
So we decided that we'd just have to move. Well I pestered Brian into moving. I was done with the apartment. It was too small, I didn't like the complex in general, I was just tired of living in an apartment. So we started keeping an eye out for places to move.
February was uneventful, I don't remember much from this time at all.
March we picked up our search for a house a bit more, found one on the East side of Simi and put a hold on it. Moved in at the end of March. The day of the move the moving company purposely sent people who spoke little to no English so there was a lot of nodding and so forth and very little understanding. We told them to not pack anything, that we had packed everything we wanted. Instead they packed everything they could and then tried to charge us over 1K for it. They held our stuff hostage until we threatened to call the police. Apparently Brian had signed a blank contract, which we wrote a nasty letter to the guys about. After hours of fighting and threatening the truck was unpacked and we paid out like 900, which was 500 more than we were quoted for the move. So keep this in mind people, LA Movers or anyone who is not the company (but contracts out with others) is a scam. Don't use them. There is a great guy in TO, I forget his name at this moment, but he runs a great moving company, for reasonable rates. We should have gone with him.
Apparently this is when Brian started to have his "issues" and I spent exactly 3 weeks living in the house before Brian asked for a divorce. During those three weeks, we painted Kaylee's room and put together her new bed and she had a beautiful room. She slept in it for 3 weeks. She still asks about that stupid room, when she's going to be able to go back to it. She asks if we can get the people who live there now to move out so we can go back. This stuff you know I'm supposed to move on about but it makes me so damn angry. I could care less that I lived there less than a month, but to do that to Kaylee. That's just plain wrong. And I'll have to move on someday about it, but right now it still makes me angry.
She loved that place for whatever reason. It was a death trap. The stove didn't work properly, the door was broken and the property management company didn't care at all about that. But Kaylee loved it.
The last week of April Brian asked for a divorce and I moved to my Mom's house. So that's that for the first four months of the year. Great start, eh?
This is just wrong on so many levels…
So I was reading today in the news that there was this pediatrician who had molested at least 100 of his patients, some no older than six months old. It's amazing that this even happened. Apparently he would ask the parents to leave the room while he "checked" the children. Then he would video tape the whole thing. I mean seriously! Not to blame the parents but seriously who leaves their child alone with the doctor? I guess we've learned to trust doctors and thus think that it's appropriate to be asked to leave, but I've never by any doctor at any time been asked to leave my child alone with the doctor. It's just so sad.
There are days…
I've written and rewritten this post like forty times.
But I can't post it because it will piss off my Mom and that's not good.
Needless to say I'm just annoyed.
Bigger Boobies
On Dr. Laura the other day a woman called in and asked if she should get breast implants even though her fiance said she shouldn't and looked just fine.
Obviously Dr. Laura is against breast implants but you know what her argument as to why it's unnecessary was very convincing. She asked the young woman why she wanted them. The woman said for better self esteem. Dr. Laura asked if she thought that would actually fix the issue? The girl really didn't have an answer, but I think most of us know the answer, and it's no it won't.
Dr. Laura then asked the woman why she was reducing herself to just her boobies. The woman said she wanted to feel more womanly. And Dr. Laura was kind of surprised by this, why was this woman reducing womanhood down to how big your breasts are?
And it's true, why do women judge themselves and their womanhood by how big their boobs are? Are they in competition with each other, or hoping for attention from men? And like Dr. Laura said, men may pay attention to boobs but they fall in love with the person. And no matter your breast size if you're a bitch, they aren't going to love you. I don't know if it's to get men, but more to compete with other women. It seems to me that women are motivated more by how other women see them, rather than men.
Do I think getting implants is wrong? Honestly I don't care what people do. I found though what Dr. Laura said to be something to think about. Why are women reducing themselves to their breast size? Why is so much value placed on looks over character? And what does that say about a person who places looks over character?
