Jon & Kate Divorce

22Jun/09Off

So today Jon & Kate made it official and the divorce papers have been failed. Of course there are a lot of theories as to why this has happened and so forth. Whatever the reasons I know this has to be a trying time for the children. Sadly even though they are young they're old enough to know what is going on.

I think we're lucky in that Kaylee probably doesn't understand too much nor do I think she'll remember much of this. Hopefully that is.

But I've been reading comments on stories about Jon & Kate and some of them are bothersome at best. I guess it's because I held these beliefs at one time, that anyone can work anything out if they try it. But of course it's not until you're living through something like this that you realize that it's not that easy.

How do you work through multiple instances of being cheated on? How do you trust someone who so easily lied to your face?

Now of course none of the cheating has been confirmed in regards to Jon and if he did I do want to say no matter how bitchy and nasty Kate was, cheating is never an option when you're married. It's disrespectful and plain nasty. I consider cheating emotional abuse at best. I think for Jon & Kate there was a realization that things weren't going well, for me I was blindsided.

And no matter how much I wanted it to work, too much abuse has been done in just under 5 weeks. Now I'm forced to do things I'd never think to do. Worry about issues and diseases I never thought I'd have to think to worry about. I'm no longer able to raise my child as I wanted and have to live with the fact that the person I married turned into someone I'd never want to associate with ever.

Now I understand there are some medical issues which cause his behavior to be this way but those medical issues will never go away and until he starts taking things seriously he'll never be himself again. People often say that men don't change, well mine did. He changed. And whatever illness he has, I hate that it happened. I hate that I didn't know that this was a possibility. I hate that Kaylee is genetically predisposed to not only being an addict but now having some sort of insane mental issues. I just hope that God has dished out enough on her already with her disorder and she gets my brain which seems to be mentally stable.

And that's the thing, people say there is a purpose and yeah I'm sure there is a reason for all of this, but I have to wonder how much we have to be put through. Kaylee has been through a lot in her short lifetime with her illness, and I've not had what I would consider a normal year in God knows how long. I just don't understand how long this struggle and stress is going to last. When do I get a break and finally just get to enjoy life and not worry or be stressed out? I guess though that's unrealistic because that's what you do when your child in particularly has an illness. There is no such thing as not stressing out.

Anyhow hopefully someday I'll figure out the purpose of this all. Hopefully, maybe I'll find someone who loves me and Kaylee, although I don't see it happening at all. Hopefully Kaylee and I will someday live peacefully and happy without much stress or worry.