A rainy day…

Well it’s not raining just yet but will be soon. I love the rain. I hate sunny days really. I mean I don’t necessarily love extreme cold but I hate heat in general so if it’s cool, cold, or down right freezing I’m happy. Today it’s beautiful out in my opinion. Some would say it’s depressing or ugly. I don’t think so.

More and more I’ve been contemplating some sort of change. Perhaps a move to another state. Something different than what I do now. But moving isn’t practical nor would it fix how I feel. So it’s finding that something different to do. I can’t figure anything out though because I went to school and graduated and that obviously wasn’t a huge deal to anyone. Maybe if it hadn’t been a lowly associates degree then people would have paid more attention or at least said congratulations.

I was thinking of trying to find a parenting blog of some sort to guest post at or post regularly at but those are few and far between and I have no “writing” experience other than this blog.

Let me discuss something that has been bothering me though. Conspiracy people. Seriously if something bad happens they believe the government had a hand in it. Then they act like we’re uninformed if we don’t buy into it. To this day I find those who go on about 9/11 being an inside job or missiles into the Pentagon, to be utterly disrespectful and ignorant.

It’s hard though. I keep up with some people and look at what they’ve done. Great careers, going on kick ass vacations, owning big ass homes and living comfortably on one salary, heading to Disneyland 4 times a year, graduating with master degrees, and in general doing so much more than I do. People say I’m doing some great things but seriously what am I doing that’s great?

I run a group but can’t host any events because I don’t own a home so I’m constantly struggling to find homes for hosting. I raise my daughter but a lot of the people above are raising children as well so that’s not anything special. And that’s all I do. Other than write in this blog I do jack shit compared to others. I shouldn’t compare myself to others but it’s hard sometimes especially when you look at all that people I went to school with have done.

I just want to be able to afford a vacation to a coll place and not have to worry about the money of doing it. I want to afford to be able to say “Hey lets head to Long Beach for the weekend, ” or, “Lets go to Disneyland!” without having to save money for it.

I just wish that the cost of living matched the wages earned in this city. I was reading the average household income in this city is 75K. To some that’s a lot. The average cost of a home in this area is 550K. If you made 75K and went in for a loan, you’d be approved for 400K at most. That means the majority of this city can’t afford to buy a home in it unless they are without any type of debt at all. How does that work?

It’s severely depressing to go house hunting and look at crap and not be able to even afford crap to live in. It’s very demoralizing to realize that you can’t afford a two bedroom condo either. It’s even demoralizing to know that if I went 80 miles to the north I could own a 4 by 2 with a huge backyard and being over 1600 sq ft and not pay more than 205K for it. So lesson is, either move and live in a shitty area of the state, or stay here and never own a home.

This state sucks in almost every way possible. I’m tired of it and I want to get out.

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3 Responses to “A rainy day…”

1. Mom says:

   January 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

   Or was that Monday…
2. Mom says:

   January 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm

   ahem…I believe I told you congratulations during lunch on Saturday. :-P
3. Patti says:

   January 21, 2009 at 5:12 pm

   Let’s go to AZ!