Because I don’t. I was going to write about something, probably something depressing, but I had a whole post in my head. Problem is I typically have these posts in my head right as I’m falling asleep. I always say, “I’ll write it up in the morning.” Like I have that kind of time. So it never gets done.
I probably should post more but I have to say since the divorce and also getting a job and then just everyday life, I’ve had to censor myself far more than I like. I really wish I could use this blog as I once did. As a way to write out what was going on with me without the fear of pissing someone off. I technically could of course. Because no one says you have to publish what you write, but for me, it’s not about writing it out, because it’s all in my head whether I put it in words or not, it’s about expressing it, you know getting it out.
You know when you’re a child you wish you could grow up to get out from all those horrible rules you were subject to. You know chores and what not. Then you become a adult and all you wish for is a time when you didn’t have to care. Where you didn’t have to work so hard to get so little. You know it’s hard to do your best daily and see little to no return for your effort. I guess it’s standard for business in general, but I imagine it’s standard in general for parenting. I know my kids love me and are happy to be with me so that doesn’t bother me so much. It’s my job, that one bothers me.
We drove by the old house yesterday. They’ve ruined it. Not to say it doesn’t look nice. It’s kind of ugly on the outside but oddly enough beautiful on the inside. But it’s obviously not the place where I grew up. Funny enough my grandparents old home has not changed at all. The entire neighborhood is still the same. But the neighborhood I grew up in, well I’d not even venture there unless I absolutely had to. We just happened to be in the area and went to check it out.
I think I’m due in for a vacation. Sadly I really can’t ever take one beyond one day or things get out of control at work. We head to Disneyland next week. Hopefully that goes well. Then in two weeks Kaylee has an appointment at UCLA again. Probably spend hours there to be told she’s doing well and that we aren’t going to do any tests to try to figure out if her medication is okay.
I’m tired of what seems like complacency by the doctors who treat Kaylee. She’s supposed to grow out of this disorder but how the hell are we supposed to know that if no one ever does the tests that are necessary to measure that? I want some proactive things to happen. My kid has been on the same dosage of medication for over 2 years and she’s gained weight and height and needed no correction in the dosage. That’s a good thing. But could it mean we can come down on it as well?
Annabelle is a little cutie who amazes me. Her speech is getting better and she’s communicating very well. It’s always amazing to see what a youngin can do. You know when they learn something new and start doing things that are normal but it’s still amazing to see.
That being said, Kaylee is one hell of a speller. Thank God she didn’t get my inability to spell. I don’t know if she’s a visual learner and is memorizing what a word looks like or she can just tell by how it sounds but she routinely gets 100% plus bonus points on her spelling tests. She’s a great reader as well. I do know that once I got glasses and got hooked on Star Trek books my spelling improved greatly.
So I had this dream and it involved something weird. I mean it was weird. We were at like some local business center. You know the kind of business that’s located in an insanely large high rise and has a Starbucks in the lobby because it’s that big. I was there with a guy and we were working on something. Researching stuff because we had a ton of papers and books around. Then it was time to go and the cars weren’t normal meaning you didn’t really drive them. I had a hard time with my weird car but after all was said and done we got the car stopped and for some odd reason the guy I was with gave me a hug. Now who knows what the dream was about but what I remember from the dream is mostly the fun time we were having doing our research and then the hug. I’ve had dreams like that, where they end with a hug, then you wake up sort of happy but then really depressed because it was a good dream and you haven’t had a hug like that in like forever.
But I wonder about those dreams. They happen once or twice a year and I’m not sure what spurs them to happen.
Tomorrow Kaylee gets an award for something at school. I’ll be going to take pictures since she has no idea. Which means I’m going to work from home. I’m thinking I’ll probably complete my production tomorrow. Hopefully. If not I’ll only have a few left to do on Wednesday.
I got Sims3 last week. Built a library for John and Harold. Then I decided John and Harold would like to live in a normal place so I’m building them a house. Because that my friends is what I do with my free time.