I’ve been kind of blah lately. I think it’s work and realizing that I’m going no where in my job in general. Then it’s just the same thing every day. I mean life in general.

I probably should be happy for the same stuff happening everyday, right? I mean who says that an interesting life is a good life? LOL!

There’s actually quite a bit I’d like to write about but honestly what does it matter anymore? And writing this stuff out doesn’t really help. They say journaling is a good thing and I imagine that might be the case and it certainly worked in the past for me, but lately it does nothing. Maybe because now I can’t write like I would have done so in the past?

The girls are doing well. Kaylee is doing great in ballet and Annabelle is doing great at being herself.

Recently we were looking at some old pictures of myself and my sister and it was amazing the resemblance that Annabelle has to my sister. Sure we’re twins and all but my sister has a different facial structure than I do and Annabelle seems to have taken that on. I’ve always said that Annabelle looks like my sister.

Kaylee clearly has taken after her daddy in the who she looks like area. As a baby she looked exactly like him. I’ve never seen pictures of him older, so I’m not exactly sure. But I’m pretty sure she looks like him.

Anyhow that’s all I got right now.

What is happening?

Absolutely nothing. That’s what.

I have two birthday parties to plan and frankly I’m not really looking forward to it. Kaylee wants a party with her friends, so I think a Lego themed party will be fun. Plus any excuse to go to the Lego store and buy legos in mass is fun.

Annabelle wants to have her friends come, small problem, I don’t want a house of 3 year olds, plus I’d have to invite all the kids and that’s a lot of kids.

Add to all of this everyone in the family is headed to the east coast during that time and thus it has limited our availability of weekends.

Part of me is like forget the parties and I’ll just surprise them with a trip to Disneyland again. Since I’m going to be able to work from home this opens my schedule up and I won’t have to do before or after school care so that opens up some cash to use on Disneyland I guess.

What I would really love is to spend two days there. But even two days at the park, with an overnight is costly.

I still have some time but not a lot really. If we do the Disneyland thing we’d go in mid May to avoid the summer crowds.

Usually I have all this figured out by now.

For Halloween Kaylee wants to be Elsa and Annabelle wants to be Anna. Finding these costumes will be hard so I’m going to probably try to make them. If I can find the patterns and what not.

Anyhow that’s about it. I’m boring.

What I’ve Realized

Other than I haven’t posted in forever, is that I probably am pretty good at business stuff. Although my current career wouldn’t show any of that mainly because I don’t have the education to back it up. Sadly I don’t have the time or money to complete any sort of degree, even if I would be done in two years. Not that I think a degree would help me in my career any.

The more I think about it though the more I have come to the conclusion that I need to get the hell out of what I’m doing now. My current career will never go anywhere. There is no opportunity for growth, I’ve maxed out and am still entry level. There is no intention within my company to actually promote people, even though they say otherwise. But as long as we all continue to act as happy worker bees they won’t change anything. They talk about wanting to retain top talent but refuse to reward top talent. So I question why I should be loyal to a company that’s obviously not loyal to me.

But some of the perks of the job, like the ability to work from home, make it worth staying. Although my pay sucks so I don’t know how long I can stay based solely on financial circumstances.

So what could I do then if not what I do now. Well I enjoy what I do now and wouldn’t mind spearheading the creation of a Quality program or perhaps building a new quality department at a company that might need it. I enjoy identifying and fixing issues within a department. My current job is to identify what people do wrong but what’s frustrating with it is that it can be so much more. We  have the ability to identify gaps in training, in our product, in our processes. But we have no power to fix anything. Even if we suggest change it’s rare to see anything we say taken seriously because the mentality is not quality of our service but rather we’re doing what we are doing to help management determine performance of their representatives.

If I can’t do quality anymore I was thinking Personal Relations or Human Resources would be interesting. I have no experience in either, except maybe in the Human Resources area of training, because I’ve developed and trained on processes before. And honestly that’s what I’d like to be doing again. Developing trainings and finding better ways to do our jobs. It’s what I used to do and I enjoyed it.

If I’m going to have a career I want a career I’m going to love. I’ve yet to obtain that. And I probably won’t because I know there’s a lot of people who never do.

On a side note, I’ve actually started that book I always said I’d write. I’ve written 10k so far. And I’ve barely touched on the main characters so I imagine if I can get the time to sit down and actually write it out this might turn out to be a proper length book. We’ll see if I can keep it up.

That being said that’s all I have to write about tonight.

No Line Breaks For You!

So yesterday I went to work just like usual. Set up an appointment with the Vet to take Bandit in because on Saturday he started breathing oddly so we thought perhaps he was having a asthma attack. Got home, made dinner and then off to the vet we went.
The vet listened to him and explained it was one of two things, asthma or heart failure. Well seeing as I took him to the vet not more than six months ago for a check up to make sure he was healthy I figured it had to be the asthma.
They took a X-Ray and it showed that nope, sorry, heart failure for the kitty. Of course. Why would it be anything other than that?
So of course I’m thinking, not this again, seeing as Patches died of heart failure like six months ago. Thing is he was diagnosed with heart failure but lived nearly 8 months after that diagnosis although I didn’t want to put Bandit through that, it probably wasn’t the best thing for the poor kitty.
So the vet gives him a shot of something that was supposed to reduce the water that was gathering around his lungs. She also gave me some of that med and told me to give it to him every 4 hours. Okay, no problem. Then I was to come back and we’d see if it cleared up and then start whatever treatment.
I put Bandit back in the carrier and got in the car and the bastard died on the way home from the Vet.
See the problem with cats is they are freaks. And when they get worked up, they get worked up. So here you have a cat who’s already freaked out over the Vet visit, diagnosed with heart failure and then put back in the cage to go in the car which he hates. So his heart just stopped working.
What sucks though is there was nothing I could do because I was driving. And it wasn’t pretty. He was trying his hardest to get out of the cage (because cats like to hide when they die), he couldn’t breathe, he was gasping for air and making some freaky noises. It was horrific. And it certainly wasn’t something I wanted him to go through.
I’d watched Patches do the same thing, and its taken months just to get that memory out of my head, and now here we go another one had to go do the same damn thing.
Oddly enough the Vet was right, he probably wasn’t going to make it through the night. Heart failure can come on quickly in cats apparently.
He didn’t look sick. He was his normal self up until minutes before he passed. I just feel bad because before I took him to the vet I had Annabelle say goodbye to him (mainly so she would stop asking to come) but I didn’t have Kaylee say goodbye, I mean why would I? I didn’t expect him to die.
Annabelle was all like, “Lets go get a new one.” So there you are, the 3 year old didn’t get it. I’m sure she’ll miss him but she’s not totally getting it. Kaylee apparently cried some (I wasn’t there I was back at the vet setting up his cremation). She wants a dog, which is a “when hell freezes over” for me. LOL!
Yesterday I was all like, “To hell with cats!” Today I’m like it would suck if the kids don’t have any pets at all. I grew up with a cat (several of them) my entire life as far as I remember. I think they should too. We’ll make that decision I guess on what to do about the lack of a pet issue, here soon.

Love is an open door

That is the song stuck in my head today.

So I think Kaylee pretty much got the gist of the point of Frozen. She told me the other day that it was silly that Elsa’s parents hid her away that it would have been better to let everyone know about Elsa being different and teach them that she was different so that people wouldn’t be afraid and then Elsa and Anna didn’t have to be alone.

They’ve managed to memorize all the songs from the movie and Annabelle has taken to acting the movie out. Annabelle likes to play Frozen and she’s typically Anna and Kaylee gets to be Elsa.

I’m actually quite amazed at the role playing that Annabelle will do. I don’t remember that being normal but she’s a smart kid.

She started at Kaylee’s school and has been doing well ever since. She connected with a boy she knows from her old daycare and also has made new friends.

I’m on week two of a cold/cough. I read that a cough can last up to 18 days! I’m done now with this cough. I’ve decided to not bother my coworkers with the cough and instead work from  home which oddly enough has allowed me to recover a bit. I also stopped taking all meds. I read online that sometimes taking meds can actually prolong the illness. I’ll suffer here at home if it means it’s over with sooner rather than later.

But it’s not that bad in general. Just a cough.

Kaylee is going to be in a dance recital in July. She’s excited. Mommy isn’t too excited about the price though. She’s also helping her former softball coach with the team this year to keep her active. I am hoping that not only will it help her skills a little but help her recognize if she wants to play next season or not.

Other than that, nothing much is going on. Person of Interest is having far too many breaks between shows for me. I need some Harold and John on my TV weekly to keep me sane. LOL!

NASCAR is starting back up and the changes to the CHASE frankly are annoying. I don’t understand why they’re taking all that NASCAR is and changing it. Well I do understand, because fans are fickle and they want more action. So they’ll destroy the sport in an effort to make people happy. Whatever.

Well that’s that I guess.

Holiday Updates

I am surprised I didn’t update over the holidays especially since I was home and able to do so. I’m just a slacker.

Christmas went very well. The kids were happy with what they got. Actually everyone enjoyed their gifts. The day went well. Nothing spectacular happened.

New Years though was another beast in itself. My step-bro came down from up north with his family and promptly got sick with the stomach flu. I mean seriously how the heck does that happen. What a downer. But everyone sucked it up and visited. Luckily the bug didn’t hit this house.

But New Years Even was hilarious. We spent most of the night playing Cards Against Humanity. It was hilarious.

Other than that not much is going on.

Dale Earnhardt Inc no longer exists in Nascar. I can’t tell you how much this angers me. I probably shouldn’t put on paper what I think of Theresa and what she’s done. It’s just so sad.

Mrs. Hardass

So Kaylee is doing really well in school and getting all Es except in two areas. Of course I’m all like “We need those to be Es as well!” But then I get to thinking about it. I shouldn’t be such a hardass about it. It’s not like I was a stellar student in school I should be overjoyed at her as of right now great academic performance.

So I’m going to only start to worry when things get to an S- or lower. I doubt they will because they’re coming up in general. Just a few percentage points away from Es.

Tolerance. Well maybe?

Phil Robertson in a interview with GQ expressed his beliefs as a very conservative and devout Christian. If anyone was surprised by his statements I’d have to ask what show they were watching. This show has never hidden the fact that the Robertson family is a Christian family. And while not all Christians believe as Phil does (I personally don’t) it’s not a surprise to hear that some do believe as he does.

A&E suspended Phil from filming which makes tons of sense. Because you know, you aren’t allow to hold any beliefs that might be seen as offensive.

Here is the statement A&E released:
“We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series ‘Duck Dynasty’,” the network said in a statement.
“His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

What? You’re disappointed that Phil holds some pretty well known Christian beliefs? Or are you disappointed that he chose to not keep his mouth shut about them so you could continue to pretend he isn’t Christian and continue to make a shit ton of money off his family?

So I was thinking, because often when these things happen a lot of things are said about how stating a religious belief such as his is intolerant, unaccepting and hateful. But if you think about this, unless he’s acting out on his beliefs, what exactly is intolerant and unaccepting?

For instance I personally think drinking is wrong. It’s a personal belief and because of it I myself don’t drink. I can state that I find drinking to be wrong and that’s my right to my opinion. But how is that unaccepting and intolerant of drinkers? See I’ve made a choice for myself to not drink and I don’t make other people abide by my belief process. So unless I’m forcing people to not drink, or putting them down and calling them horrible names, or beating them up or harassing them, all it is my opinion.

See I think what happens in the situation like Phil’s is a complete misunderstanding of the concept of sin. Sinning doesn’t make a person bad, immoral or evil, no matter how some people try to make it mean that. Sinning makes a person normal.

Yes, normal.

Because we all sin. And in God’s eyes my sin is no different than your sin. There is no ranking system (even if a church tries to tell you there is). To God a sin is a sin and that’s that. No ifs ands or buts about it. Sin is sin and God doesn’t like sin.

We all do it.

Of course should we call people out as sinners? Nope. Frankly we shouldn’t. As the Pope likes to say, “Who am I to judge?” And that’s very true. We aren’t the judge and jury of sin. That’s God’s job. I’m going to leave it up to him.

But even if we are not to call people out on their sins, doing so isn’t that offensive. It’s certainly not as offensive as people like to make it out to be. Also by saying people are sinning doesn’t mean that people are hateful as well.

We all do things in general that people will disagree with. Some might even see them as bad. But that doesn’t mean we are bad people. If the standard of who I associate with was based on who agrees totally and completely with me and behaved like me in every way, I’d have no one to associate with.

This idea that everyone must hold the same belief on subjects is insane. This is a diverse country with a diverse people, to even try to strip that away from us would be foolish.

People fight for equality, acceptance and tolerance for “everyone”. But that’s untrue. They’re fighting for acceptance and tolerance and equality for only the group they are working for. Rarely does their call extend to other groups. And that makes them hypocrites.

People should really think about it. You want people to treat you with respect, acceptance, tolerance but you can’t afford those same things to others? What the hell makes one person more deserving of acceptance, tolerance, and equality than another?

It seems to me that in recent years the push has been to make everyone believe as certain vocal special interest groups believe. And even if I agree with their general purpose to educate and bring awareness I can’t jump on the bandwagon of trying to shut up people who don’t think like you.

Tolerance and acceptance has to be given to all, no matter how weird, hateful, ignorant a statement is.

If you don’t like it, shouldn’t we then try to open a dialogue? How does one educate someone by calling for their head on a stick? How the hell is that education? How the hell does that fix the issue?

You know often parents talk about how children shouldn’t be fearful of their parents punishments. That children should rather do the right thing because it’s the right thing not because they fear the repercussions of their actions.

The concept is similar here. Are we in fact fixing the issue of hate and intolerance by using fear of the repercussions as a driving force? How the hell does one change the mind of someone if when you hear something hateful or hurtful you attack rather than teach? Does anyone believe that by removing Phil from the show that he’s suddenly going to change his mind?

No. He won’t change his mind. And it won’t change anyone else’s either. Because all you’ve done is silence people. Not educated. Just silenced people who don’t think like you. That does nothing to change this nation. It just means people aren’t talking in general. You’re using fear as a motivating factor, not education.

It seems counterproductive. You can’t teach if you’re unwilling to listen in general.

Anyhow that’s my long winded rant on why those who are shouting to silence Phil are just as intolerant of people as Phil supposedly is intolerant of people. Of course his actions (meaning the way he lives his life) say otherwise.

Edited to add: A&E the champion for the LGBT community hired Phil knowing his stance on homosexuality. What champion of LGBT rights would do that?

The End Is Near…

The end of the year that is.

It’s been a quick year. And I’m pretty sure the next big event (the girls birthdays) will come up just as fast.

I’m excited though for the beginning of the year. At least for Annabelle. She’s going to start going to Kaylee’s school. This will help for me having them both at the same place but also she’s going to start “school”. I’ll be taking her for a visit the week before she starts to spend some time there and get to know the people. Should be fun.

Kaylee is still doing well in school. She needs to improve her writing although frankly I think she writes perfectly well. It bothers me to see such low writing scores compared to her very high other scores. But I’m not going to worry about it too much. Kaylee is practicing and that’s about all we can do about it.

Kaylee has some fine and gross motor skill delays. Nothing huge, and frankly nothing to really worry about. I would like to have them worked on but of course does my Insurance cover it? Nope. Because she’s not bad enough. Of course, isn’t that how it always is? Why fix a problem before it gets out of control? That makes no sense!

I’m taking about two weeks off at the end of the year. So excited. I’m worn out to be honest. Just need a break. I want to take the girls to the Science Center and the Natural History Museum. I have to look into tickets for that and what it might cost.

Other than that I’m pretty much the same old same old. Boring, alone, and boring. LOL!

Oh and yes I finally got the pictures up from Thanksgiving.


Natural Bridge


So I guess I should have probably written something about how thankful I am for stuff and things and life but decided not to do that.

We went to AZ this year for Thanksgiving and had a good time. I enjoyed it. It was tiring of course because what vacation isn’t? But otherwise it was good.

I have a ton of pictures which I am actually working on at this very moment.

In unrelated junk that no one probably cares about, I’m part of a support group on Facebook. Well was part of one. Apparently the owners of this group decided to just shut it down without letting anyone know, or they kicked me out. Can’t be too sure because when you’re blocked from a group it doesn’t tell you why or that you are. The group just doesn’t show anymore. Not sure what I would have done to get kicked out though because well, I hadn’t done anything. So who the hell knows.

Have most of the Christmas shopping done. Going to get some more done soon. Have to finish up buying gifts for the immediate family. Must send out Christmas cards soon too.

I’ll post the pictures when I’m done though.